I have something rather embarrassing to confess: It seems that I have bamboozled you all into thinking that I possess sage wisdom of any sort. God save me, because I don't. But, I guess I have some experience in growing up as a girl, and I was paying attention for most of the time, so here, in no particular order, I humbly offer you my advice to young girls.
#1: You have a mind. Use it. Be smart, and by that I don't mean that you have to be the best in your class. Be informed about things and be proud of your knowledge. Have an opinion and share it. Stick up for yourself. Your mind is your most important and impressive gift, far more than your looks. A pretty face may stir up some attention, but a beautiful mind captivates everyone. Don't act dumb.
#2: Learn how to install an air conditioner. Learn how to put up blinds. Learn how to set up your Airport hub. Be a handygal. You'll be amazed at how easy all of these things are, and you'll save yourself the trouble of having to ask someone else to do it for you.
#3: Learn to take care of yourself. Be independent. Don't expect someone else to solve all your problems. Over the course of 28 years, I have learned how to manage my own money, how to find a job, how to rent an apartment, how to negotiate, and how to trim my cat's scratchy nails. I have moved myself into new homes, purchased my own jewelry, fed myself, paid rent on time and never asked my mother for money. There are times when I work 18 hour days, sometimes 6 days in a row. I work hard for what I want. You do the same. It's not always easy - in fact, it's pretty hard going. All I can tell you is that there is nothing more comforting and rewarding than having the confidence of knowing that you can see yourself through anything. Be strong, don't be helpless.
#4: Have at least one special recipe that you are the best at making. Mine?: Spam Fried Rice.
#5: Have close friendships with girls. I was always a girl who got along great with boys, and at one point or another I may have had more guy friends than lady pals. In the end, however, it is my friendships with other girls that have gotten me through life. Despite our individual challenges, girls understand each other's feelings, dreams and frustrations. So many times, I have been surprised to find that my girlfriends have been through the same things as me, and the advice they had for me always rang true. Cherish your girlfriends, and be a good friend to them.
#6: Dream big. No, seriously, I mean BIG. You can do whatever you want, and you can change your mind, too, at any time. Remember that stuff I said about working really hard? This is where that should be put to use.
#7: Yes, the boy who teases you on the playground is doing it because he likes you. But don't worry so much about that booger-head! Boys are cute - believe me, I know! But boys can also wait. Someday, when you are married, you will spend 40-50 years listening to your husband fart, picking up his dirty laundry and forgiving his inability to live up to human standards of cleanliness. While you are young and free, explore your own interests, travel, learn to play an instrument, laugh, and always remember there are many fish in the sea! Live life for yourself. If you do so, you'll be much happier when you eventually find Mr. or Mrs. Right.
#8: You will go through some awkward years, yes. You will suffer pimples, gain weight, and not know what to do with your body once your curves take over. You probably won't always feel good about yourself when this happens, but hold fast to that self-esteem, even if it sometimes feels like you are defending an illusion. When I was in highschool, my face was blanketed with acne, I didn't know what to do with my hair, I wore glasses and I had chubby cheeks. Today, I still have those chubby cheeks, but my face is clear, I actually own nice clothes and my hair is finally cooperating with the team. Relax - you will turn out just great.
#9: Your parents are only human, not monsters from planet Hard as Hell. Someday, you will find yourself sounding just like them, and when you are an adult and don't feel ready for all the responsibilities of the real world, you'll realize that your parents probably never felt ready either. Someday, you're going to view them as cute and funny. You probably won't believe me right now, but that's something to think about later.
#10: Relish your youth but don't be afraid to turn 25 and don't dread getting even older than that. The older you get, the more you know about yourself, the less you apologize for your likes and dislikes, the more you have what you want and the more comfortable you feel in your own skin. Trust me when I say life gets better the older you get. Really, no tricks.
Listen, I am not a wise woman. I don't have all the answers. I've made many mistakes, I've come to many grand conclusions about life, I've had many farfetched ideas. I have changed my mind repeatedly and I've often doubted my actions. I've taken perhaps far too many chances. Take my advice with a grain of salt. But, if it's any consolation, I can tell you that I regret nothing in my life, and I think I turned out okay. I am sure you will too.
Thank you to Anne Loder of New York City for this topic.