I know a lot of people don't put much stock in ghosts, but on this matter, I really had no choice but to become a believer. I grew up in Hawai'i, and if you grew up in Hawai'i too, then you know that Hawai'i is THE MOST HAUNTED-ASS PLACE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET.
Every single child in Hawai'i spends their youth scared shitless by their surroundings thanks to the endless retelling of local ghost stories that just never seem to get old. Apparently, you are never too young to be told a frightening story about faceless women in movie theater bathrooms. And at some point you're going to be choked by a ghost in your sleep, so you might as well be reminded over and over again until it happens to you. Sometimes, when I think back on my childhood in Hawai'i, I feel like all we ever talked about was ghosts, and when you live on a teeny tiny island, you get the feeling that they're all around you.
Don't take pork over the Pali Highway. Stay out of Morgan's corner. Don't pick up the lady in white on the side of the road. No, scratch that: Pick up the lady in white on the side of the road. Don't even think about taking that rock home with you, idiot! You wanna die?! - Look the Night Marcher in the eye. It was nice knowing you!
To this day, no ghost story scares me like a ghost story from Hawai'i. They just seem so much more potent...and that's because they are true. You die-hard skeptics out there will chalk all this up to hocus-pocus superstition in Hawai'i, but dude, trust me: Shit happens there. Hawai'i is an incredibly sacred and mystical space, and Hawaiians have a close relationship with nature, their ancestors and the supernatural world. Spirits abound, and almost everyone I know in Hawai'i has had an experience "not of this world"...but let's talk about me for a second, okay?
When I was in high school, I had my first encounter with the "choking ghost," a spirit that pins you down while you sleep and gets all Chief Bromden on your ass. There are many personal accounts of this ghost, with quite a few reporting seeing something on or by their bed. When this happened to me in high school, I heard deep, mean voices in my bedroom somewhere to my right, only I couldn't move my head to take a look. After a few minutes, I finally broke free...and later discovered that whatever had been in my room, it had turned my alarm clock off. I know, right? - That's freaky shit.
Fast forward to the beginning of 2008, on the beautiful island of Kauai, where I was playing tourist with my then-boyfriend, Luke. Wanting to get a taste of the "real Kauai," we had checked into a cute B&B near a beautiful valley. To be honest, I got the heeby-jeebies from the place as soon as we pulled up to it, but I told myself that the place had a whirlpool jacuzzi. Whirlpool jacuzzis are never haunted.
Sho'nuff, the first night we slept there, I had my second encounter with the choking ghost; this time, I heard strange Hawaiian music coming from the valley outside. It was no less terrifying than my first experience, only this time, someone else (Luke) had been in the room with me, and he swore that he had felt and heard nothing. Hmmm. Maybe it had been a dream, but how do you explain what happened the next night?: I awoke suddenly in the middle of the night, all of my senses on the alert and a strong feeling like something was in the room. Even more frightening was the fact that Luke had woken up at exactly the same time, with exactly the same feeling.
Well I don't need to tell you that we checked the hizzell outta that B&B and into a 4-star resort the next morning. Later, after doing some sleuthing on the Google, I discovered that the B&B was just down the road from an old Japanese cemetery, and in one of the most active menehune valleys on the island.
Yeesh. I don't know about you, but all this talk about ghosts and hauntings has me spooked. When I lived back home in the islands, I never liked retelling ghost stories myself; I worried that simply mentioning the spirits was enough to draw them to me. Save me Jebus, that's the last thing I ever want! So, if they're listening right now, this is all I have to say: I mean you no disrespect...please don't visit me in Brooklyn.
And now....I'm off to bed. (eek)
Thank you to Carmen D. Hopper of Virginia Beach, Virginia, for this topic.
Oh man - I really love your Chief Bromden reference :D
Posted by: Zeb | 12/28/2009 at 11:32 PM